So it's been a little over two months. I am settled, as much as you can be in a refuge. I have a fantastic group of friends here. Basically all the young people here hang out together, we are all in our 20's. It still doesn't stop the bad days though. I feel as though I am the only one still waiting for counselling. Most women are here because of domestic violence from a former partner. I feel like the odd one out. The one who left home because her father was the problem. It's almost like nobody else can relate. I didn't think I would be the only one in this situation. I do feel a bit alone sometimes. I just want my counselling, I really need it.
Every week we get a donation of food about to go out of date from a major supermarket. I think it's a great idea. It's a bit hit and miss though. Sometimes we get bread that has already gone hard, or fruit that has gone mouldy. But sometimes we get cake, which is the best of all, right?!? We get clothes donations too, but to this date I have not found anything that fits me. It's usually smaller sized clothes and I am a 16. I finally bought myself a new pair of trousers last week but it's put me out of pocket for this week. That's what I have to do, choose between food and something else. It's like there's never enough to do everything. Plus we pay rent here. It's not an obscene amount, but still, you have to budget for it. I really can't wait to get a job so I can do things with ease. I honestly think a lot of these times of me feeling down would also disappear if I had no money troubles.
I think I have cabin fever too. I feel like I am stuck here and I can't do anything because it all costs money. Back in my home town everything was nearby, I could walk or get a bus for cheap. I feel so poor and I hate it. I can't even treat myself ever.
(written in May 2016)
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