Sometimes other Muslims can be your biggest critics. Like the whole getting married thing, its like you're nothing without being married. So some people seem to think they are giving you the gospel by telling you to get online and find someone. Oh really you think I just sat here twiddling my thumbs for the past almost ten years? I live in a small town, getting online to find someone was something I did very early on. I just never had the contacts here to help me. In my mind I've done all that I can to find someone, and if I choose to give up, is it anyone's business but my own? Don't tell me you know someone nice, or there's plenty of nice men and I just haven't met them yet. Just. Stop. I don't want to hear it anymore. You think I gave up after a few months of looking? I have been trying since I was 19 years old. For a long time marriage was all I ever wanted. Some of it was for the right reasons, some wrong. I wanted to settle down and have my own family before it gets too late. I also wanted to get away from my family home because its so suffocating. I shouldn't feel that way. I shouldn't feel like I want to get away from my own family, but that's how they have made me feel, well my father in particular. I realised I wasn't in the right frame of mind anymore. Drifting away from my religion and wanting to marry someone to escape isn't right to me. It wouldn't make for a happy marriage in any case.
Then that brings me to the men. Now of course this doesn't describe all Muslim men, but its my experience. I met so many rude Muslim men online. Like so many it just got ridiculous. Many times I was told I don't look nice. Basically I'm ugly. One said my skin was too dark, him being darker than me by the way. Like its perfectly acceptable to do that. I honestly wish they would have lied for the reasons they were turning me down. I don't want to hear I'm ugly, even if you think its true. Keep it to yourself and end our conversing by just saying you don't think we're a good match or something. Don't be nasty, even if that's how you feel. It's just setting up someone to have no confidence in their looks. I don't believe people when they tell me I'm pretty. Its like I was conditioned to believe otherwise. Now that's just one piece of damage trying to get married has done to me.
One of the worst things is someone who got married so quickly and easily telling me not to give up. What would you know about it? You found someone fast. You will never understand years of being on matrimonial websites, the stress slowly rising, taking its toll. Please don't pretend to understand something you have never been through. And say I'm wrong if you want, but our religion has a part to play too. You can't have children unless you're married in Islam. So what if I never find someone? Yep, I'm just supposed to stay single forever, The truth is not everyone will get married. I have people in my family who never got married, and now they're in their 50s and 60s. Don't tell me it happens for everyone because that's just not true. Call me pessimistic if you want, but that's my life experiences. Life isn't a fairy tale where everyone gets what they expect. Or sometimes we find happiness in a different way, in a way perhaps our religion wouldn't recommend. But that's just how it works sometimes.
I'm actually happier NOT trawling through marriage websites, so don't tell me to log back on and try again. I know I probably gained a ton of grey hairs through all the stress. I stopped looking at the beginning of 2015 and its been fantastic. I just don't need it in my life at this point. If you're someone feeling the same way, take a break, even if its a few months, or a year. Just do it and clear your head. Trying to get married shouldn't feel that way.
Saturday, 26 December 2015
Friday, 5 June 2015
Fighting for Independence
This post is gonna be a bit all over the place, just to warn you. It's my thoughts and not really a properly set out blog post. I just felt the need to write out my feelings.
It's pretty tough being a Muslim sometimes. Or should I say its more of a cultural issue? Who knows anymore as the lines become pretty blurred. I hate the fact that it's so difficult to attain independence as a woman. I want to move out, have my own space, but to an Arab father, that is a huge insult. If I want to move out I need a husband. I don't believe that's the right reason to get married. I would honestly rather stay single and run my own flat, have a decent job. It has been very difficult to find regular steady work. I volunteered in a shop for over four years. I got tons of experience, but in reality it means nothing to employers and I have found pretty much all of them don't care that I volunteered my time and racked up experience. It's almost seen as 'not real'. In that job I learned to work on a till, I could use a coffee machine, making lattes and the like. All transferable skills I can use elsewhere. The shop was based in a hospital, and I got to know some of the regulars who came in often. I was a painfully shy person and it forced me to speak to people more. Even when gaming became more of an online thing, I completely avoided playing with people. I really didn't want to speak on mic either. I then found a regular weekly Uncharted 3 online playing session, but it was for my brother. Then he didn't play as much and I decided I wanted to try it out. Being on mic for the first time I was incredibly nervous, and everyone else was much more chatty than me. I wasn't used to playing with other people and I stayed quiet a lot. I slowly found my voice and made some fantastic friends for life. Gaming with a mic doesn't scare me anymore!
I spent all my school life being quiet and invisible, except when people noticed I was different and decided to be racist. Then suddenly I wasn't invisible anymore. I started to long for the days where I went unnoticed, I would much rather that happened than be verbally or physically attacked. So what I look different? I'm mixed race, get over it and get on with your own life.
I don't think it should be seen as weird if a Muslim woman decides to live alone. How many men do it and nobody bats an eye? Is it because they think we want to do inapproriate things? Couldn't the same be said for lone men? Why pick on women only? Honestly I don't care. Let people talk. People talk no matter what you do. I'm not married and I get asked about it. My mum gets asked about it. Because apparently you are nothing if you are single. And even when you get married the pressure doesn't end, people are waiting for you to have children. Then they look down on you if you don't have boys. Like you can control that. I don't know, maybe its worse because I live in a small town. People don't have anything better to do except talk about others. I'd rather live in a city and be anonymous.
If you got this far, well done you! It has been a bit of a rant but I needed to get it off my chest. Maybe even someone else who is going through the same difficulties can relate.
It's pretty tough being a Muslim sometimes. Or should I say its more of a cultural issue? Who knows anymore as the lines become pretty blurred. I hate the fact that it's so difficult to attain independence as a woman. I want to move out, have my own space, but to an Arab father, that is a huge insult. If I want to move out I need a husband. I don't believe that's the right reason to get married. I would honestly rather stay single and run my own flat, have a decent job. It has been very difficult to find regular steady work. I volunteered in a shop for over four years. I got tons of experience, but in reality it means nothing to employers and I have found pretty much all of them don't care that I volunteered my time and racked up experience. It's almost seen as 'not real'. In that job I learned to work on a till, I could use a coffee machine, making lattes and the like. All transferable skills I can use elsewhere. The shop was based in a hospital, and I got to know some of the regulars who came in often. I was a painfully shy person and it forced me to speak to people more. Even when gaming became more of an online thing, I completely avoided playing with people. I really didn't want to speak on mic either. I then found a regular weekly Uncharted 3 online playing session, but it was for my brother. Then he didn't play as much and I decided I wanted to try it out. Being on mic for the first time I was incredibly nervous, and everyone else was much more chatty than me. I wasn't used to playing with other people and I stayed quiet a lot. I slowly found my voice and made some fantastic friends for life. Gaming with a mic doesn't scare me anymore!
I spent all my school life being quiet and invisible, except when people noticed I was different and decided to be racist. Then suddenly I wasn't invisible anymore. I started to long for the days where I went unnoticed, I would much rather that happened than be verbally or physically attacked. So what I look different? I'm mixed race, get over it and get on with your own life.
I don't think it should be seen as weird if a Muslim woman decides to live alone. How many men do it and nobody bats an eye? Is it because they think we want to do inapproriate things? Couldn't the same be said for lone men? Why pick on women only? Honestly I don't care. Let people talk. People talk no matter what you do. I'm not married and I get asked about it. My mum gets asked about it. Because apparently you are nothing if you are single. And even when you get married the pressure doesn't end, people are waiting for you to have children. Then they look down on you if you don't have boys. Like you can control that. I don't know, maybe its worse because I live in a small town. People don't have anything better to do except talk about others. I'd rather live in a city and be anonymous.
If you got this far, well done you! It has been a bit of a rant but I needed to get it off my chest. Maybe even someone else who is going through the same difficulties can relate.
Tuesday, 24 February 2015
Being an Ethnic Minority in Middlesbrough
So I've lived in Middlesbrough my whole life. I was born and raised here, but my parents are from elsewhere. My mum is a Geordie and my dad is Libyan. I've pretty much always not liked this place. I had a bad time in school with racism, then when I finished school, the streets were the same. Except a lot, lot worse.....
Imagine walking down the street and someone grabs your clothing because they don't like it. Imagine they throw things at you because of how you are dressed, or simply because you were born with a skin colour other than white. Call you racist names because they think you are foreign. Call out racist insults from moving cars as you walk on the streets of your hometown, minding your own business. I've now learned not to look at people who honk from cars, insults inevitably follow. I've even watched a man in the corner of my eye on a bus furiously giving me both his middle fingers. I hope the fact that I didn't look straight at him just made him appear like some mad man. That's pretty much how I deal with racism these days, I don't even look at the person who said the insult. I keep walking like nothing happened. I hope that makes them mad that I didn't acknowledge them, it's exactly my aim!
Let's start this properly by looking back at my school days. I remember never really thinking much about my parents being from two different countries. It was normal to me and it surprised me when one day my dad came to pick me up, and some of my classmates noticed him. Now my dad has brown skin, he's several shades darker than me as I'm more of a beige colour (as I see myself anyway!). Anyway these kids were like, "that's your dad?! really?" I explained he was Arab, then after that I always had kids saying I was 'Arabic'. I was constantly correcting them, it's Arab, Arabic is a language! Things weren't too bad at this school, except when one girl called me a 'mudblood'. I was like "what's that?" I remember never hearing it again until Harry Potter was released. I always thought it was racist and was surprised to hear it being used, albeit with a different meaning. I then moved onto a different primary school as my parents wanted me to be around more kids like me. It was a great idea and worked well, except because of the diversity at this new school, there was also a bit more racism/religious hate. I was actually called a 'nigger' by one child here. I'm not even dark skinned, but because of the comments about my colour, I then started to see myself as a coloured person. I was surprised when much later I went to get my shade for foundation matched at Boots, and I'm either a medium or between fair and medium. I wasn't dark at all. Those kids were just plain nasty and picked on anything that stood out I guess.
I do still see myself as coloured, because I'm mixed. I'm different to other people culturally too. Yes I'm half English and I can hang out with English people and it works, but then I also fit in with mixed people like me, and Arabs. It's always hard to describe being mixed. It basically means you fit into a lot of boxes, instead of one. You embrace different foods and languages, but they also belong to you. It's not foreign. With my Libyan side, there's even bits of Italian influence in there. This is because the Italians invaded Libya in 1911. As a result of this we have some Italian words in the Libyan dialect. We also eat pasta, although it's usually called 'macarona' in Libya. Some Libyans even claim pizza was invented there, but I'm not so sure!
I'm kind of a keyboard warrior these days. If I see any racist comments going on local pages, I'm usually there to try and change how people see ethnic minorities. Emphasis on the 'try'. The ignorant people in Middlesbrough aren't going to change any time soon, which is really sad. We have a problem with people supporting the far right in this town, and its driving people away. I'd like to see a mayoral candidate tackle that, but I highly doubt they will. Being a white male running for mayor, you're probably not thinking of the minorities, sadly. The problem is though, these minorities helped make this town what it is. Looking a bit further away, but still in the North East, my own family were working class. My granddad worked for British Rail. My grandma worked as a cleaner most of her life. But people don't know this about me, because they write me off as a foreigner. That's the problem, you distance yourself from people, you don't try to get to know about them, and you miss out. Don't be ignorant. Don't tell people to integrate when you have no desire to integrate with them. The world is a global village, take advantage of it!
Imagine walking down the street and someone grabs your clothing because they don't like it. Imagine they throw things at you because of how you are dressed, or simply because you were born with a skin colour other than white. Call you racist names because they think you are foreign. Call out racist insults from moving cars as you walk on the streets of your hometown, minding your own business. I've now learned not to look at people who honk from cars, insults inevitably follow. I've even watched a man in the corner of my eye on a bus furiously giving me both his middle fingers. I hope the fact that I didn't look straight at him just made him appear like some mad man. That's pretty much how I deal with racism these days, I don't even look at the person who said the insult. I keep walking like nothing happened. I hope that makes them mad that I didn't acknowledge them, it's exactly my aim!
The Transporter Bridge, Middlesbrough
Let's start this properly by looking back at my school days. I remember never really thinking much about my parents being from two different countries. It was normal to me and it surprised me when one day my dad came to pick me up, and some of my classmates noticed him. Now my dad has brown skin, he's several shades darker than me as I'm more of a beige colour (as I see myself anyway!). Anyway these kids were like, "that's your dad?! really?" I explained he was Arab, then after that I always had kids saying I was 'Arabic'. I was constantly correcting them, it's Arab, Arabic is a language! Things weren't too bad at this school, except when one girl called me a 'mudblood'. I was like "what's that?" I remember never hearing it again until Harry Potter was released. I always thought it was racist and was surprised to hear it being used, albeit with a different meaning. I then moved onto a different primary school as my parents wanted me to be around more kids like me. It was a great idea and worked well, except because of the diversity at this new school, there was also a bit more racism/religious hate. I was actually called a 'nigger' by one child here. I'm not even dark skinned, but because of the comments about my colour, I then started to see myself as a coloured person. I was surprised when much later I went to get my shade for foundation matched at Boots, and I'm either a medium or between fair and medium. I wasn't dark at all. Those kids were just plain nasty and picked on anything that stood out I guess.
I do still see myself as coloured, because I'm mixed. I'm different to other people culturally too. Yes I'm half English and I can hang out with English people and it works, but then I also fit in with mixed people like me, and Arabs. It's always hard to describe being mixed. It basically means you fit into a lot of boxes, instead of one. You embrace different foods and languages, but they also belong to you. It's not foreign. With my Libyan side, there's even bits of Italian influence in there. This is because the Italians invaded Libya in 1911. As a result of this we have some Italian words in the Libyan dialect. We also eat pasta, although it's usually called 'macarona' in Libya. Some Libyans even claim pizza was invented there, but I'm not so sure!
Tripoli - my dad's home city
I'm kind of a keyboard warrior these days. If I see any racist comments going on local pages, I'm usually there to try and change how people see ethnic minorities. Emphasis on the 'try'. The ignorant people in Middlesbrough aren't going to change any time soon, which is really sad. We have a problem with people supporting the far right in this town, and its driving people away. I'd like to see a mayoral candidate tackle that, but I highly doubt they will. Being a white male running for mayor, you're probably not thinking of the minorities, sadly. The problem is though, these minorities helped make this town what it is. Looking a bit further away, but still in the North East, my own family were working class. My granddad worked for British Rail. My grandma worked as a cleaner most of her life. But people don't know this about me, because they write me off as a foreigner. That's the problem, you distance yourself from people, you don't try to get to know about them, and you miss out. Don't be ignorant. Don't tell people to integrate when you have no desire to integrate with them. The world is a global village, take advantage of it!
Monday, 5 January 2015
Trying to get married - it's a minefield!
I know, it's been a while since I've posted on here, but the itch is back! I thought instead of getting depressed over being single, I should point out all the terrible men that exist on marriage/matchmaking websites. For obvious reasons, I won't name these websites, nor the usernames of anyone on them, but rest assured these stories are real!
First of all, if you managed to get married, good for you, because who the hell wants to go through years of trawling through crap to try to find a good man. You find someone right away, you're set for life (if it lasts.....) Unfortunately that doesn't happen for all of us, so spare a thought, and enjoy!
My first pet peeve of these websites is the alarming amount of men who initiate contact, then you NEVER HEAR FROM THEM AGAIN!! This is really common. They will even act super interested, often the fact that I'm a gamer pulls them in, then maybe it pushes them away too? I know I'm a rarity. There's really not many Muslim girls who game, but instead of treating me like an oddity, just see me as a person please. Gaming is my hobby yes, but there's so much more. I never had the fact that I'm a gamer on my profile previously, but I thought it looked boring that I had no decent hobbies. My mum actually used to tell me that gaming would not get me a husband. I will prove her wrong! I think I just have to find someone on my level. You take me as I come, I won't give up gaming!
Never be anybody's second best. If they're not acting like they care enough, or they don't want to ever involve your parents, then forget them.
Having certain things you won't budge on, a lot of people don't seem to like the fact that you won't consider just about anything. Maybe I'm controversial, but I'd prefer to be with someone from the same background as myself, or just mixed race. I feel we understand each other better. After all, how many white couples, Asian couples, African couples etc etc exist, I could go on and on. There's tons of people who don't marry out of their ethnicity, but nobody says anything. Yet I'm expected to go for anyone for some reason? No, I'll stick to what I feel is my type thanks. I'm not racist, before you pull that card. I can be friends with pretty much anyone, but when it comes to marriage I can and will be picky! Deal with it. The main reason this is something important to me is culture. We have way too many overly cultural Muslims. I think I'd rather just deal with the cultures I know well, instead of wading into uncharted waters.
Men with unrealistic expectations. The ones who ask that you live with their family, and then also look after their mum. (that's your mum, dude, look after her!) Ones who set stupid expectations for what working will entail. Don't want you to work with men, women only. (does such a place exist?) Looking for a perfect woman, asking that you should be like Prophet Muhammed's (peace be upon him) wives. You do know perfection doesn't exist, right? Who are you to ask for a woman like that?! One guy stipulated on his profile that he didn't want a girl in a headscarf, kinda dumb since you're Muslim, its sort of kinda what we're supposed to wear?! It's only a command from God y'know! Then the one who wanted someone 'sexually compatible', because his first marriage had ended in divorce over the same issue. So you want to try someone out before marriage? Good luck with that.
The dimwits who don't realise what joining a matrimonial site means. I've had a few saying they were on there just looking for friends. Erm, sorry to burst your bubble, but that's what Facebook is for? Why on Earth did you make an account, type up a profile, upload pictures, only to not use it for its intended purpose? Wow, you must be a special kind of stupid. Nobody likes time wasters, and this is them in another form.
The 'friend' thing also tends to crop up because I'm a gamer. Some don't see me as marriage material, just a cool person who plays games. That's kind of annoying because wouldn't you want a wife who you can play video games with? Why relegate someone like me to the 'friend' pile? Fine if you don't want to consider me, but maybe don't message me in the first place. Ain't nobody got time fo dat!
The ones who get all mad if you don't reply right away. Let's get this straight, its not nice to ignore messages, but if the person is furiously sending lots because you didn't reply a minute after they sent it, that's just ridiculous. I will reply even if its to say I don't think we're a good match. Just don't bug me, or you get nothing but a block.
Divorcees or people with children expecting anybody to take them on. Now I'm all for everyone getting a second, third, fourth (I could go on) chance, but not everybody can deal with that. Divorcees aren't so much of an issue, but I'm pretty sure I can't deal with looking after someone else's children and having to deal with their ex. It's not my baggage and I don't want to take it on. Don't hold it against me, because its better I say no now rather than putting us both through hell. I'm single and I've never been married, shoot me if I say I kinda want the same in my other half! I've also been to the point where I was considering a divorcee, and he was even talking to my dad, but he brought up a lot of personal information about his ex. It put me right off, I didn't need to know that, and he didn't endear himself to my dad either. C'mon man, I have an Arab dad, you can't say those things!
I think I got a lot off my chest, and it was much needed. If I was to give any advice, I'd say never give up with these sites. Especially if you are in my position, where you have no real world contacts to help you find a marriage partner. Online is pretty much my only choice right now. I never used to be open about it, but I am now. I'm not ashamed. I want to get married, to have children. My own family, my house. I'd say the number one rule of trying to find a spouse online is, don't be naive. You will find all kinds of people online, and you need to be tough about it. Don't be gullible, don't let them pull you into doing something bad, something against your morals. Stick to your guns and you should be fine. Take breaks if you ever feel jaded about finding someone. Then resume when you feel better. I do this a lot. It helps keep me refreshed.
First of all, if you managed to get married, good for you, because who the hell wants to go through years of trawling through crap to try to find a good man. You find someone right away, you're set for life (if it lasts.....) Unfortunately that doesn't happen for all of us, so spare a thought, and enjoy!
My first pet peeve of these websites is the alarming amount of men who initiate contact, then you NEVER HEAR FROM THEM AGAIN!! This is really common. They will even act super interested, often the fact that I'm a gamer pulls them in, then maybe it pushes them away too? I know I'm a rarity. There's really not many Muslim girls who game, but instead of treating me like an oddity, just see me as a person please. Gaming is my hobby yes, but there's so much more. I never had the fact that I'm a gamer on my profile previously, but I thought it looked boring that I had no decent hobbies. My mum actually used to tell me that gaming would not get me a husband. I will prove her wrong! I think I just have to find someone on my level. You take me as I come, I won't give up gaming!
Never be anybody's second best. If they're not acting like they care enough, or they don't want to ever involve your parents, then forget them.
Having certain things you won't budge on, a lot of people don't seem to like the fact that you won't consider just about anything. Maybe I'm controversial, but I'd prefer to be with someone from the same background as myself, or just mixed race. I feel we understand each other better. After all, how many white couples, Asian couples, African couples etc etc exist, I could go on and on. There's tons of people who don't marry out of their ethnicity, but nobody says anything. Yet I'm expected to go for anyone for some reason? No, I'll stick to what I feel is my type thanks. I'm not racist, before you pull that card. I can be friends with pretty much anyone, but when it comes to marriage I can and will be picky! Deal with it. The main reason this is something important to me is culture. We have way too many overly cultural Muslims. I think I'd rather just deal with the cultures I know well, instead of wading into uncharted waters.
Men with unrealistic expectations. The ones who ask that you live with their family, and then also look after their mum. (that's your mum, dude, look after her!) Ones who set stupid expectations for what working will entail. Don't want you to work with men, women only. (does such a place exist?) Looking for a perfect woman, asking that you should be like Prophet Muhammed's (peace be upon him) wives. You do know perfection doesn't exist, right? Who are you to ask for a woman like that?! One guy stipulated on his profile that he didn't want a girl in a headscarf, kinda dumb since you're Muslim, its sort of kinda what we're supposed to wear?! It's only a command from God y'know! Then the one who wanted someone 'sexually compatible', because his first marriage had ended in divorce over the same issue. So you want to try someone out before marriage? Good luck with that.
The dimwits who don't realise what joining a matrimonial site means. I've had a few saying they were on there just looking for friends. Erm, sorry to burst your bubble, but that's what Facebook is for? Why on Earth did you make an account, type up a profile, upload pictures, only to not use it for its intended purpose? Wow, you must be a special kind of stupid. Nobody likes time wasters, and this is them in another form.
The 'friend' thing also tends to crop up because I'm a gamer. Some don't see me as marriage material, just a cool person who plays games. That's kind of annoying because wouldn't you want a wife who you can play video games with? Why relegate someone like me to the 'friend' pile? Fine if you don't want to consider me, but maybe don't message me in the first place. Ain't nobody got time fo dat!
The ones who get all mad if you don't reply right away. Let's get this straight, its not nice to ignore messages, but if the person is furiously sending lots because you didn't reply a minute after they sent it, that's just ridiculous. I will reply even if its to say I don't think we're a good match. Just don't bug me, or you get nothing but a block.
Divorcees or people with children expecting anybody to take them on. Now I'm all for everyone getting a second, third, fourth (I could go on) chance, but not everybody can deal with that. Divorcees aren't so much of an issue, but I'm pretty sure I can't deal with looking after someone else's children and having to deal with their ex. It's not my baggage and I don't want to take it on. Don't hold it against me, because its better I say no now rather than putting us both through hell. I'm single and I've never been married, shoot me if I say I kinda want the same in my other half! I've also been to the point where I was considering a divorcee, and he was even talking to my dad, but he brought up a lot of personal information about his ex. It put me right off, I didn't need to know that, and he didn't endear himself to my dad either. C'mon man, I have an Arab dad, you can't say those things!
I think I got a lot off my chest, and it was much needed. If I was to give any advice, I'd say never give up with these sites. Especially if you are in my position, where you have no real world contacts to help you find a marriage partner. Online is pretty much my only choice right now. I never used to be open about it, but I am now. I'm not ashamed. I want to get married, to have children. My own family, my house. I'd say the number one rule of trying to find a spouse online is, don't be naive. You will find all kinds of people online, and you need to be tough about it. Don't be gullible, don't let them pull you into doing something bad, something against your morals. Stick to your guns and you should be fine. Take breaks if you ever feel jaded about finding someone. Then resume when you feel better. I do this a lot. It helps keep me refreshed.
Sunday, 25 May 2014
Response to 'GTA 5 and Dawah - Smile2Jannah'
As a Muslim, and a gamer, I felt like I had to call out this channel on a few things!
First of all, promotion and the sort is pretty normal for a huge game like this. There's plenty of other games non-gamers never hear about, because it just doesn't get the press attention GTA attracts. Yes, we know its full of killing, stealing, running people over etc, but it's not real, so that really doesn't concern me. You might think that sounds cold, but how many movies/TV shows contain all of the above and more, but nobody bats an eyelid? It's not real, that's why. Yep, it is just a game. In fact I didn't buy mine on release. I didn't even get my PS3 on launch day, I got it almost two years later (mostly because I'm a cheapskate!) I must admit I do agree it's kinda silly to go and pick up a game at midnight. I'm happy to wait until the next day or even later, I do want to sleep. Contrary to popular belief, not all gamers stay up playing games all night. Stupid stereotype.
Does it really matter who was first in line to buy the game? You wouldn't have said anything if it was a white, non-Muslim. Non-issue! I agree with you on the guy who played for 50 hours with a 'diet plan', sounds kinda crazy, but you say it's real, so let's just go with that. I must correct you on fibre 'pills' too, I've been on them myself in the past (not for extreme gaming, I must clarify!) and they are basically psyllium husk powder encased in a capsule for ease of taking it. You can buy it in powder form too, and mix it into food or drinks. I asked my doctor about it, its not a pill and its not harmful. It is also completely ridiculous to take time off to play a game. The day that 'The Last of Us' came out, I was working a full day. It was the first game I pre-ordered and I knew it would be waiting for me when I got back. I wasn't willing to miss a day of work for it. There's plenty of gamers just like me too, that would think it silly to take time off for pleasure.
Next I must talk about asking for time off work during Ramadan. Are you actually serious?! I'm pretty sure there's nothing in Islam that says you need time off. In fact I'm pretty sure you are supposed to carry on as normal. You can do things like read more Quran, pray extra prayers etc in the time you are not working. A man is expected to be a breadwinner. Maybe take a day or two off for Eid instead. There's no point taking time off work just because you can't eat or drink. Man up!! I've worked through Ramadan, it's not a big deal. Doing my work takes my mind off the not eating part, if I'm stupid enough to just think of food all day.
The Islamic book you held up at one point in the video is a book of hadith/dua and is only meant for referring to when needed. It's not the type of book you'd read cover to cover in one sitting anyway. I own it and its very useful for referring to!
Movies are also made on big budgets. Games are becoming more and more like playable movies, so the budget is only going to match that. Yes, its a lot of money, but that's what the developers have chosen to do, with demand from gamers just one part of it. You could put this same thing into many different industries. Putting money into something in expectation of getting more out of it.
Standing there with a controller saying "die die!" is such a stereotypical view of gamers. Maybe a little kid plays like that (which they shouldn't be playing games such as GTA anyway!), but us adults are usually pretty sensible about stuff. Again its not real so pretty much a non-issue.
So in conclusion, you kind of set yourself up for this criticism for being a non-gamer talking about a game/gamer in the typical way. We're all obsessed with killing (albeit in games!), we stay up all night playing, we go out at midnight to pick up the latest release (which is true in some cases, but it's hardly something to get bothered about). Maybe you should actually talk about Dawah in a better way than saying we should do it instead of playing games. You probably have hobbies too, so sue me if mine is playing games. It's not instead of any of my religious duties, its simply something I enjoy in life. Have you seen some people who claim to do Dawah anyway? They literally just get as many people as possible to convert and add it to their 'tally'. A sort of 'notch on the bedpost', if you will. Address issues like these, then maybe I'll take you seriously! Other than that I think most Smile2Jannah videos are pretty funny, but it just always falls flat if you try and address something you seemingly have no idea about.
Monday, 14 April 2014
Why its disrespecful to holiday in Egypt
So this subject was recently brought to my attention when hearing that people still consider Egypt a place to visit...... What about going to a country where recently over 500 Morsi supporters were sentenced to death.
How can you possibly justify going to have a good time in a place where if you oppose Sisi and his army, you are in danger of losing your life. Why not just go elsewhere? Not to mention, Mohammed Morsi was democratically elected as President, he didn't force his way in like General Sisi. Whether you like Morsi or not, you cannot deny this fact. If there were a majority against Morsi, perhaps they didn't vote? Which is the worst way to show how you think, in my opinion. Vote for someone else instead of keeping quiet until its too late.
I remember when the revolution against Hosni Mubarak first kicked off, I was at work and people were complaining that they couldn't go to Egypt at that time, because flying there had been discouraged due to the unrest. I defended the Egyptian people by saying that they needed to get rid of their dictator leader, and when it is ever a 'good time' to set up a revolution? When it happens, it happens.
Even the country my father is from (Libya) are having big problems with militias and armed people in the streets. Our family has said not to go and visit right now, despite the fact that we don't really go for a holiday, its more of a catch-up with relatives. I don't want to be selfish and put my own enjoyment above obvious danger, which the Libyan people live with everyday, so I will wait until its safer, whenever that may be.
I would advise anyone thinking of going to Egypt not to go right now. Please, your enjoyment is not more important than the people of Egypt, and their right to a better life. Don't holiday in a country where the 'leader' doesn't stand for his people, but prefers to murder them instead. Don't help prop up a 'government' that forced their way in, kicked out the elected leader and put him in a farcical trial. For now, please choose somewhere else. The world is your oyster, go where people are not in obvious danger.
How can you possibly justify going to have a good time in a place where if you oppose Sisi and his army, you are in danger of losing your life. Why not just go elsewhere? Not to mention, Mohammed Morsi was democratically elected as President, he didn't force his way in like General Sisi. Whether you like Morsi or not, you cannot deny this fact. If there were a majority against Morsi, perhaps they didn't vote? Which is the worst way to show how you think, in my opinion. Vote for someone else instead of keeping quiet until its too late.
I remember when the revolution against Hosni Mubarak first kicked off, I was at work and people were complaining that they couldn't go to Egypt at that time, because flying there had been discouraged due to the unrest. I defended the Egyptian people by saying that they needed to get rid of their dictator leader, and when it is ever a 'good time' to set up a revolution? When it happens, it happens.
Even the country my father is from (Libya) are having big problems with militias and armed people in the streets. Our family has said not to go and visit right now, despite the fact that we don't really go for a holiday, its more of a catch-up with relatives. I don't want to be selfish and put my own enjoyment above obvious danger, which the Libyan people live with everyday, so I will wait until its safer, whenever that may be.
I would advise anyone thinking of going to Egypt not to go right now. Please, your enjoyment is not more important than the people of Egypt, and their right to a better life. Don't holiday in a country where the 'leader' doesn't stand for his people, but prefers to murder them instead. Don't help prop up a 'government' that forced their way in, kicked out the elected leader and put him in a farcical trial. For now, please choose somewhere else. The world is your oyster, go where people are not in obvious danger.
Monday, 4 November 2013
Anti-Vac causing chaos!
I am a little bit fed up these days of seeing so much anti-vaccination stuff clogging my Facebook timeline. It's actually only a minority that think this way, yet they push and shove to tell people how much they hate vaccinations. To be clear, I am for vaccination, but not militant, but now I feel I have to almost constantly defend my choice. I never spoke of it before, because why do I need to tell everyone about it? It's a quiet choice I made in my own mind, yet anti-vac people will go around telling anyone who will listen that their children are unvaccinated, and probably wish their parents had not vaccinated them either. It's like vegetarians. Some of them are ok, and just get on with not eating meat, but then there are those who attack your choice to eat meat. Why? I do not go around saying you should eat meat and list the reasons why, no, I simply get on with my choice. I made that choice so I shouldn't push it on other people, as it might not be right for them.
I would never dream of forcing vaccination on someone, but they must consider that I went through the same pro/con research as them. I am not stupid and I read up about a lot of choices I make in my life. I don't want to go into anything unprepared if I can help it. To wrongly assume that pro-vac people haven't made an informed decision is foolish. In fact anyone who chooses something without knowing everything possible about it, makes a foolish choice. At least if you do your research you can safely say you made that choice with as much information as possible. I do this for everything, even down to buying a video game. If I don't know it well, I will read reviews, if an odd one mentions any kind of bug or glitch that may happen, I take it into account but realise that weighed up with all the other reviews, its most likely a more rare occurrence and only a few will come across it. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying the people who suffer any rare effects of anything are not to be counted, but rather it just shows that the percentage is low. Don't we take a risk every time we drive somewhere? Walk somewhere? Go to work? We don't know when injury or death could occur. We take safety precautions as best we can, but still, we don't know for sure. I have heard of a few children getting knocked over by cars on my street, but it doesn't stop me crossing the road.
We even have things in our life that happen to us without warning, and there's nothing we can do about it. Once upon a time that used to scare me, as I sat comfortably (as one can be!) watching medical documentaries and being thankful that I had not yet needed surgery in my life, and hopefully never would! Yet at the age of 19 I developed appendicitis and became very ill, later discovering that my appendix had burst and required not only surgery, but a full cut and not keyhole as one would hope. I feel it made me stronger though. I had an image in my mind of what surgery would be like, and I surprised myself by being calm and listening to the doctors, nurses, my surgeon and the anesthetist. (not blindly you must understand, but I was in a state where surgery was my best and only option, and doctors know better than I do, having studied for years in their field!) To be honest, I think most people in that position would have just gone with the flow because when you are in severe pain (my sheet said I was given morphine at one point, and then I was put on tramadol, a very strong painkiller that made me fall asleep when given it) you will do anything to get rid of that pain. I never knew severe pain until that point, and haven't felt it since. It's not something you can imagine, as you can see from my previous bliss before the surgery!
My conclusion is that life comes with hurdles, the good and the bad, the highs and the lows. The choices we make can either help or hinder us in this path. I have no ill feeling towards anti-vaccination or vegetarians, but I do wish they would consider other people's opinions and that you can't tell someone they are wrong because of a choice they made. Leave them to it, concentrate on your own life and you will feel better about it. I never thought about anti-vac people before and I was fine. Of course I knew they existed, but I never felt I needed to verbally attack them. Let's be kind to one another and respect each others' life choices!
My conclusion is that life comes with hurdles, the good and the bad, the highs and the lows. The choices we make can either help or hinder us in this path. I have no ill feeling towards anti-vaccination or vegetarians, but I do wish they would consider other people's opinions and that you can't tell someone they are wrong because of a choice they made. Leave them to it, concentrate on your own life and you will feel better about it. I never thought about anti-vac people before and I was fine. Of course I knew they existed, but I never felt I needed to verbally attack them. Let's be kind to one another and respect each others' life choices!
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